I was at church on Sunday when I ran into a former student.  After the exchange of hugs and kisses, she got right down to business...
"So Ms. Cook, what have you been up to lately?  'Cause I see that you have been to jail!"
"What?!" not a nice segue way at all, but whatever.  
"Yeah, your mugshot has been posted all over Facebook and Instagram," she chuckles and looks at me with a side eye. 
"Girl, stop!" I had to laugh at this point cause I was supposed to be shamed, but I wasn't.  I explained to her that yes, I had been to jail, twice in six months, but that wasn't the end of my story. 
 I used to be one of those people that felt pride, and even bragged a little, that I had never been to jail.  I had even scoffed a few times at those who proclaimed the "I got locked up on some bullshit that wasn't even my fault!' defense when questioned about their criminal past.  And then I became one.  
The first time I went to jail was on Father's Day, 2013.  My two boys, ages 4 & 3, had been outside playing with  my next door neighbor's grandson who is 11.  Now, this was a child I had known all his life, heck, I've known his Momma since we were his age.  I had been tutoring him for 5th grade; when he was locked out, he came to our house to eat and wait. Our family's had been close neighbor friends for over 20 years and I considered myself part of the village raising him.  Well, my older son comes in and says to me,
 "Mommy, Jason outside saying cuss words." 
"Well you tell Jason to stop, he knows better. And you all come in the house anyway because I have to go to the store."  
I go outside to start the van, Jason walks over to the passenger window and very sweetly says,
"Mommy, you a stupid bitch." and smiles. 
I see the boy and his friend giggling at the scene standing by the tree out of the side of my eye.  I didn't even turn the car off.  I jumped out and stalked around to my son.  I promptly slap Jason's face and demand he tell me who told him to say that to me, even though there is no doubt in my mind who did.  He immediately cries out the boy's name and says he is sorry.  I walk over to the older child and ask him,
"Did you tell my child to say that to me?" 
"NO! He did that by hisself!" To which I respond with a slap across the face.  ('Hisself' is a pet peeve of mine too!) 
"You're lying!  My son thinks stupid is a bad word, and I don't use the 'B' word so I know he didn't come up with that by himself!" 
At this point he starts crying and runs off into the house to tell his grandmother.  I turn to the other child standing next to him and say,
"Did he tell my son to say that?"  
"Yes Ma'am."
"I knew it!  That is unacceptable, and if you ever did some mess like that I would slap your face too!" Even though I don't know this kid like I know the other one, but I was just 38 hot! 
So his grandmother comes outside to see what the trouble is and I explain what happened.  She's looking all confused, the child keeps piping in denying his offense and she keeps telling me to calm down. Now at this point its starting to sink in that maybe I have overreacted, but I knew I was in trouble when I hear her say,
"Now I know *BJ would not do that because he knows his momma would tear his behind up if he was out here cussing!" 
 I almost laughed in her face.  I was thinking to myself,
 "Are you serious?  This child's momma has been cussing like a sailor since she was his age!  Do you really believe that he wouldn't be out here cussing too if he thinks grownups aren't looking?"  I really wanted to tell her to get her head out of her ass.  But instead, I explained that my son doesn't hear or use that kind of language and that the way he said it, it was obvious that he had been coached.  (I mean really, the boy is 3 years old and his hardest insult was, "I don't like grownups!") We couldn't resolve it then so I went back home. 
 Later, the grandmother came by and admonished me for "putting my hands on someone else's child".  She suggested that I should have spanked him and that his mom probably wouldn't have had an issue with that.  I couldn't even wrap my head around what she was saying because I was still waiting for an admission that he did the crime.  Never happened.  Then the other boys mother had the nerve to come to my door to try to confront me for threatening to slap her child.  She kept mentioning that I could go to jail for what happened.  Which honestly, I didn't think was necessary but I couldn't change what happened.  I did apologize to his pea-head ass though, only because I had to acknowledge that I did the very thing I tell my children not to do, hit someone when you're angry. 
Long story short, I left.  I just walked away from it and took my family to the movies that night to escape all the drama.  But how many of you know that drama has a way of finding you sometimes? 
While I was at the movie, the child's momma came to my house. She was quite obviously upset and wanted my mother to call me back from the movie to talk to her about what happened.  But my lovely, well-intentioned mother refused.  She said that the boy got what he deserved for what he did and that she was not going to make me come home to apologize to her!  
Oh Lord, MOMMMA WHY!!?!?!  Now the child's momma is all-the-way turned up!  Thinking that this must be how I feel too.  And yes, it was, but I wasn't gonna tell her that!  I could see why she would be upset! I mean, how would I feel if somebody slapped my child?  Even if he did deserve it?  Even if I had known that person most of my life?  Its still my child. 
Well, my mom tells me after the fact and my throat drops down to my stomach cause I know *Jasmine well enough to know that she is going to turn 'pit-bull' on me for this now.  
The next morning, the police knock on my door at 8 a.m.  He asks me to step outside and give my version of events, and despite having be counseled to lie, I tell the whole truth.  I explain to the officer that I didn't even think because when I look at BJ I see an extension of my family, and I did to him what I did to my own son.
"Yeah, but that's not your son." he says sadly, looking like its pains him to have to do this. 
He goes next door to tell Jasmine what I've said and I here her say,
"Oh, so she admitted it. Good, I want to press charges."
She wouldn't hear anything I had to say, she told the officer to tell me to go away when I tried to walk over to say something in my defense.  The next thing I know the officer is slapping handcuffs on me and I go to jail for the first time.  
Now I'm sure those of you reading this have likely formed some opinion about this, but I just wanted it all to go away.  Things got real strained in the relationship with the neighbors.  I had been transporting Jasmine's sister who lived there back and forth to work 5 days a week, and that ended promptly.  Really, I was happy though, her sister is nice enough, but just talks all the time with the stupidest, most nonsensical chatter. Then the grandmother is a terrible gossip and told everybody who would listen about what I did to her grandson. I couldn't care less about what the neighbors think, but I don't want a criminal record.  On the advice of the solicitor, I took an opportunity to apologize to Jasmine about two months later.  I needed her approval to go into the pre-trial diversion program and ultimately have this event expunged from my record.  I had to admit to her though, that it took me so long because I felt like I deserved an apology too. (She looked shocked when I said this) Since then, several months have passed and I still don't regret what I did.  I think he deserved it, he was dead wrong for that.  But I pray for their family, because the karma will come back around to them, (especially when they reward his errant behavior by not making him accept responsibilty and turning pit-bull on the other party) and when it does, I pray that Jasmine and BJ are given more mercy than they gave, and are listened to more than they heard. 


Now the second time I went to jail was really some BS!  I was cleaning out my son's backpack from the weekend away with his dad and I find a Nexxus tablet.  I ask him where he got it and he said,
"My brother gave it to me at my Granddad's house."  
I'm assuming he means one of his uncles that is a kid 'cause his brother is only 3 years old!  He was running late so I told him to just leave it with me and we would discuss it more after school.  Well, I get to looking at this thing and I see all these white people's pictures in it and toddler games and I realize that this tablet cannot possibly belong to anybody he knows.  I try to reach his dad to ask him about it and I can't get him.  I told my sister about it and she said I should try to give it back to the person it belongs too.  Our Pastor was just preaching the week before about being ethical and showing integrity.  So I look through the contacts and see one that says 'me'.  I call 'Me' and this woman answers, 
"This is *Carla Melton." 
"Hi, you don't know me, but I think I have something that belongs to you." 
"Really?  What is it?" she asks, sounding almost excited.
'A Nexxus tablet."
"Oh my gosh!  Thank you!  I can't believe it!  My house was burglarized last month and everything was taken!"
"Well, that's awful," I say, genuinely glad I'm doing this, "I know how it feels to be stolen from and it sucks. I just want to return this to you if that helps.'
"Oh thank you so much! I love you! And if you can help me get some of my other stuff back I would appreciate it" 
"Uh, well, I don't know anything about any other items, my son just came home with this and I don't want to keep anything that doesn't belong to me."
We dsicuss a time and place to meet after she gets off work, realizing that we are neighbors, and I agree to give back the tablet. 
I show up at the school parking lot and see her silver BMW parked and she's in the driver's seat on the phone.  I pull up next to her in my mother's car and grab the tablet.  I remember thinking it was kind of odd how she was acting casue she didn't even get out of the car or acknowledge me when I said hello.  But I was cold and hungry, thinking about the crab cakes for dinner at home and just wanted to get it over with.  I hand her the tablet and all of a sudden I hear the siren and see the police roll up. Then two white men jump out into my face and start screaming at me, 
"Police, stand right there!" 
"You called the police on me??!!!" I ask incredulously.
"I'm a Yankee, we don't play that!" she says!  Whatever the hell that means.
The police are standing all up on me asking me all these questions about where I got the tablet and I'm shocked!  I can't even process what is happening right now and I start stuttering, "unh, unh, unh."  And before I can blink, they slap handcuffs on me!  At this point I just became hysterical.  I started screaming at the top of my lungs,
"Oh my God!  God Jesus please help me!  God Jesus please help me!  Oh Lord, please help me!  God Jesus, why??" For the next half-hour while sitting in the back of the police car I was hysterically crying and praying to God. I kept saying how wrong this was, how I was only trying to do the right thing.  The police kept asking for a name to explain where the tablet came from but the only name I know is my children's father, because my son left with his dad and came back with his dad.  But I don't want to say his name because he is on probation already and I'm afraid the police will arrest him too.  Then they threaten to impound my mother's car and I beg and plead for that not to happen.  I guess they are starting to feel stupid and agree to just go pick her up so she can drive the car back to the house.   My sister said that when they came to the house they were telling lies that they had tracked the tablet down and that I knew more than I was saying, trying to paint the picture that I'm really a criminal and had actually done some investigating to get this 'lead'.  Now anyone with half a brain could ascertain that I can't possibly have any knowledge of this burglary or anyone involved, and then go out of my way to return a tablet!  But common sense be damned, I went to jail again, charged with theft by recieving. Initially, it was a felony charge with no bond, but a few hours later it had been reduced to a misdemeanor, but I'd already been made to put on the ugly orange clothes of inmates, given a mattress and a cell to sleep in.

Honestly, this is all still very fresh and new. I find myself now with a recent criminal background, trying to apply for jobs that I can't get, even though I'm very qualified.  Heck, I can't even do the community service I'm ordered by the courts to do at some places because of the nature of my first offense.  When things get tough and I feel down about my situation I have to remind myself that God doesn't place burdens on us that we can't handle, and that the whole world belongs to Him, so there is nothing man can do to stop the blessings He has for me!  But dog gone it if it isn't tough being judged before I can even show my face or open my mouth!  I guess that'll learn me to have pride in my accomplishments, or lack of certain experiences!  At any rate, I'm working toward becoming a true Disciple of Christ with a MasterLife course at church, and I figure that way I'll be in good company-all the Disciples went to jail!    


This is the first of many blog posts to come!  I'll keep you posted on my cases and share some truths about some other life experiences I've had and will have.  Please feel free to share. Thank you and God bless!  



*Names have been changed to hopefully keep me from being sued!